Blue Jays' Mark Budzinski reflects on his daughter Julia, three years after her passing

I was in Toronto and Monica told me they were going boating and tubing for a few hours to have some fun and I was excited for them because they were going to have a fun for a few hours that day but unfortunately tragedy struck.

Initially it was just shock I felt numb and frozen and very very helpless, said Atkins

I can remember this vividly Budzinski said, Charlie says Ross needs to talk to you right now, and I said right now? And he said ya right now. So I go up in the clubhouse and Ross says hey call Monica, and I was like just tell me man, I know its not good I don't get called off the field unless its really really bad and Ross said I can't man I wish I could, but you just need to call Monica.

She was extremely competitive said Budzinski, some of my favorite memories of her are watching her on the soccer field, the volleyball court, on the basketball court, she was very hard on herself, countless times I'd walk in on her in her bedroom while she was doing homework and she be crying because she couldn't figure something out or got an 89 instead of a 95 on a test. She would push herself hard and obviously we were very proud of her.

There is more than what we understand here said Budzinski, my belief is there is more beyond this and there was a greater need for Julia elsewhere.

The first game back we ended up scoring 28 runs that game and John Schneider said to me Julia was looking after us here so I will never forget that. She loved Toronto and Canada and either the night of or the day after Blue Jays games she would ask me two things: 'What was the score, did you guys win' and 'what's your record right now?"

We talked as a group on how cool that was recalled Schneider, Julia was looking down on us and all of us just recognizing that you know. Life is crazy and I think a guy to be able to come back from that ya bigger stuff is happening than baseball for sure.

At some point everyday, multiple times everyday I talk to her, during the anthem everyday...sorry ( sniffles and holds back tears) I try to remember the good times but like everything else in the world negative thoughts creep in sometimes. I try to remember all the good times the laughter of all the kids and spending time together and laughing and having fun and competing. I feel lucky to have had the 17 years with Jules and the other kids and the time I get to spend with them.